Tuesday, September 24, 2013

my favorite mayo alternative recipes

can't get your hands on vegenaise?
fear not!

there are yummy (and easy!)
 alternatives for mayo lovers.

these are my two TOFU-FREE favorites!


  • organic haas avocado (a fairly big one)
  • juice of half of a lemon
  • 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
  • pinch cayenne pepper (or more)
  • 1/4 c extra virgin olive oil (the good stuff)

cut avocado in half. scoop out the flesh and throw it into your food processor.
* add lemon juice, salt, and pepper and blendddddd!
*  with the motor whirring, drizzle olive oil slowly to the other ingredients. 
* stop, scrape, puree, repeat... you want a lovely smooth, creamy texture.
* eat on stuff!


  • organic haas avocado
  • 1 Tbsp lemon juice
  • 2 tsp dijon mustard (not the kind with the giant mustard seeds!)
  • fine sea salt to taste
  • 2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

cut avocado in half. scoop out the flesh and throw it into your food processor.

* add lemon juice, dijon, and sea salt to the food processor and puree.
* scrape as needed.
* puree until you have your desired texture.
* eattttttttttttttttt! (and eat some more)

can i get a break?!

it looks like my master cleanse posts are on hold.
  after the squirrel debacle, one of my family friends ended up in the hospital. 

 things just keep piling up! 

 i hope you guys will understand! 
 in the meantime, i will post some recipes.
 love yas!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Master Cleanse & a Squirrel

i had planned to document my experience every single day, but of course life gets in the way!

i started my morning master cleanse. i loaded up my lemonade with cayenne...
then i hear the most awful screeching sound i have ever heard in my life!

eeep! eeeep! eeeeeep!
one of our crazy cats somehow chased a baby squirrel into our dining room.
poor little guy.

he was more than grateful when we took him up into our arms and away from the cat.
he made the strangest purring noise!

we googled everything we possibly could about baby squirrels to make sure he was okay.
my cousin helped me look up animal rescues in the area as well.

he is so cute.
but we are so scared to keep him!

we plan on keeping him comfortable and fed for the week,
and taking him down to a rescue.

as for my cleanse, it will start tomorrow!
i didn't eat or have a more than my morning glass of lemonade because of all the excitement!


on that note, 
i am drinking my nightly senna tea now.
i prefer the peppermint flavor. 
the chocolate "smooth move" tea tastes like petrified goat ass,
 and the original is just o-k.

see you tomorrow!
have a great night! don't let the squirrels bite!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

master cleanse

has anyone ever gone through with it?

i have a few times, and it always makes me feel like a million bucks!
i usually try to do one before i start dieting-- 
seems to make the transitioning to a new lifestyle easier.

the master cleanse itself is NOT a diet.
it is a detox.
you will gain back about half of the weight you lose...
once again, DO NOT do this cleanse if you just want to lose weight.

but you will FEEL great afterwards, your SKIN will improve, 

and you will have a much easier time when you begin your ACTUAL diet. 

but why, you ask... why are you doing it? you don't even eat meat...


i have a multitude of physical ailments that effect my every day way of living.

i gained over 100 lbs when i was pregnant. HOLY COW, for real. 
my acne is out of control since the weight gain.

the weight gain is putting stress on my legs, which is horrible for my fibro.
no, i don't meat, but i am not exactly taking care of myself, either.

it is time to change that and jump start my lazy ass back into a healthier life.

for the next week (or two if i decide to do more than a week)
i will log my experiences with the cleanse. 

be prepared though, the descriptions of what i go through could be pretty graphic! 

now, the good stuff...
the recipe i am using for this particular cleanse is:

  • 2 tbsp freshly squeezed organic lemon juice 
  • 2 tbsp organic 100% maple syrup 
  • cayenne pepper to taste (yum) 
  • 1c filtered water


  • at night, drink a cup of senna tea.
  • in the morning, you can do a salt water flush. 
    i will be drinking more senna tea, however.

there are many different variations of the original cleanse, 
so feel free to google away for more information. 

see you guys tomorrow morning!

Thursday, September 12, 2013


i am going to be coming back full force soon.
i have been doing sooo much better and i can't wait to update the blog with new recipes and giveaways!

missed you!

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