store-bought gravy (as in pasta sauce)

sure, it is 100000000x better to make your own gravy from scratch, but sometimes you are just feeling too lazy or too overwhelmed, and you need a quick fix.

what do you do? you pull out some crappy jar of schtuff you found on the bargain shelf of the grocery store.

and it tastes like…. shit.

so fix it! there are a few easy things you can do that will still let you have plenty of free non-cooking time, and won’t make you want to hang yourself because your dinner tastes like cat ass.

1. OMG THIS IS SO FRIGGIN SALTY!

solution #1: add half of a peeled potato to the pot as you’re heating/cooking it.

solution #2: add a tiny bit of lemon juice. it will help cut the saltiness.  BE CAREFUL or you’ll end up with lemon gravy. ew.

solution #3: if it is just a tiny bit too salty, just cook your pasta noodles without salt. this way you won’t have a salt overload.

2. SUH-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

solution #1: add a little vinegar. the acid will help get rid of the sugary nastiness.

solution #2: add half of a peeled potato to the pot as you’re heating/cooking it.

solution #3: add a tiny bit (as in 1/4 tsp tiny) of cream of tartar

3. HOT HOT HOT! OMFG SPIICCCCYYYYYYYY!

solution #1: i could bathe in a vat of hot peppers. i don’t believe in this thing called “too spicy”.

solution #2: you can add some sugar or brown sugar, but c’mon.. too spicy? nahhhhh.

4. HOLY BITTERNESS, BATMAN!

solution #1: add a weeeee bit of sugar or brown sugar.

solution #2: add sugar AND baking soda.

solution #3: add pureed or shredded carrots for a sweetness boost.

5. WARNING! ITALIAN SEASONING OVERLOAD!

solution #1: add some extra tomato paste.

solution #2: add an extra can of tomato sauce.

6. OH SHIT! I BURN EVERYTHING!

solution #1: throw it away and make aglio e olio instead, lol.

solution #2: pour the gravy/sauce into a bowl - DO NOT SCRAPE THE BURNT SHIT INTO THE BOWL. add about 2 oz of red wine into a new saucepan with a wee bit of salt and sugar. once it is bubbly, add the gravy/sauce into the pan. season to taste.

7. UGHH THIS IS LIKE WATER!

solution#1: simmer until it thickens.

solution #2: add some chopped tomato or a can/jar of diced tomatoes.

solution #3: add some nutritional yeast, veg parmesan (or the real stuff if you prefer), or vegan (or real) cream cheese.

solution #4: add some veggies like mushrooms or carrots or zucchini! go crazy!

have a happy dinner! <3